Favoritism

I know I am not alone at getting blamed for loving or spending more time with one child over the other.

Greg is your favorite. You love Greg more.

You gave Greg more money.   You let Greg stay out later than me.

Sounds familiar!

What she is not realizing is that with each child there will be time when they will need me the most and my attention might be with them more for a moment in time to accomplish a certain task.  At the current moment Greg and I are spending a lot of time together planning/mapping out his senior year and college admissions.  That’s because I have to stay on top of him, teaching him organizational skills, and prioritizing.  I shouldn’t feel compelled to explain to the other child, why?

Yes, I do understand I should be equal in my giving to each child but in fairness Greg is at an age where his purchases are more or things that he is doing require for him to have more.  Why I am being guilt tripped into giving the same amount because I don’t want it to look like I love one child over the other.

Each child is an individual, with unique differences that compliments the entire family.  I couldn’t imagine our family without Emmie.  The glits, the sass, the bold declarations, the innocent view of the world, the sensitivity that she brings into our family.  I couldn’t imagine our family without Greg.   The wit, charisma, extended thinking to every task, his humor and humility. Now the task is how do I still build individual relationships with each child as they grow so that they know my love for them is secure. The conversation now that I hear among the two is when Greg leaves for college the Fall of 2020, Emmie will get us, all to herself for 4 years like Greg did before she came along. (So that’s how they choose to look at it. LOL).  Talk about timing them right… Lol, not my doing, it was all God)

As a parent how do you balance making each child feel secure of their position in the family?  Even if you have one (right now), what do you recall that your parents did while you were growing up in your family that made you feel secure.  That you are the only one that does this with mom and dad.

If you have one of each (male, female) how do you spend time with each individually?  If you have all sons, how do you spend time with each individually.  If you have all daughters, how do you spend time with each individually?  Do you spend time with each child individually?  Is it important to spend time with each child individually? (No judgments here!)

Wilnia

mom2Greg&Emmie